How to teach a child not to be capricious in a store

Our children are subjected to an information and advertising attack every day. They are attacked from all sides, imposing consumer behavior: buy it, buy something, buy it right now, buy and buy, etc. The most advanced marketers even came up with a scheme "ask your mother to buy."

According to "Afisha Daily" statistics, children under the age of 12 watch about 25 thousand commercials a year, and this is not taking into account advertising on the Internet, product placement and banner advertising on the street. Up to 8 years old kids consider all advertising to be reliable, and only after 11 years they begin to understand that, probably, chocolate is not the best thing that happened to them in life.

In general, advertising of any format aggressively in a veiled form presses on the fragile children's psyche, urging something to buy. And when a child comes to the store, the first thing he sees is that he has already been inspired by a flow of advertising information. Either he sees what his friends have, and generally everyone around him, and only he still does not have it. And here it is, involuntary "I want" bursts out. And two hands are not enough to grab all these toys, and "Wishlist" grows with every step more and more. And then tears, resentment, in extremely neglected options, envy, and an inferiority complex.

According to the artist and teacher E. Kramer, today's troubled children and adolescents of our big cities are not only deprived of love, understanding, life and play space, they are also bribed, seduced and devastated.

What to do, how to be? The best treatment is prevention.

Teach your child to make a choice and justify it. Under favorable conditions, if a child learned to respond at an earlier age to an adult refusal and his refusals were respected, then at about five years the child is ready to choose. Under refusal is meant the first manifestation of independence in about two years. Refusing any offer of an adult, the child chooses. At the same time, there is no need to offer an unbearable choice. If a child loves dinosaurs, do not bring him to the store "Jurassic World of Crocodile Skin".

 

 

• Do not soothe the children with things. Here's a candy or scooter, just do not cry! Such a scheme is a fertile soil for the cultivation of a dame.
• Know how to refuse correctly. The hardest refusal that you can imagine is something like this: "I also want a lot of things!", "It's not enough that you want!". Such a refusal, as it were, tells the child: "You and your desires are not important." Soften the refusal, showing concern: "Son, I really want to please you, but it's harmful to eat a lot of sweets. Let's better give you an apple. " You can use humor. For example, you can say: "If I could, I would buy you as much candy as you want. A thousand! No, ten thousand! Or even a whole truck of sweets! How much do you want? But, you know, unfortunately, it does not work out that way. Harmful there are many sweets. So let's replace sweets with dried fruit or plain fruit. "
• With older children, discuss the laws of the advertising market. What techniques are used by marketers to force something to buy, and that it is necessary first of all for them. And at the same time, it is useful to explain, what is dangerous in life is such a state as "every passion is an idol."
• In the end, explain to the child that besides toys and things in life there are more important and really needs: communication, friendship, creativity, creation. And these things do not need to be replaced by false values and superficial joys from the series "I now also have this". The child should know that the world is unlimited, different, and there is room for magic and real discoveries. And the joy of knowing the real, tangible world - is incomparable with the fleeting satisfaction of buying a fashionable gadget. After all, in old jeans, you can go round half the world and fill the soul with sincere happiness.

Once in the supermarket in front of me in the queue were my mother and a boy of five years. The boy was pissed, asked to buy a chocolate bar, a kinder-surprise, a toy, which were generously disposed of by enterprising employees right next to the ticket office. Mom was angry, told her son that on New Year's Eve he already received many gifts, that now there is not enough money and they will not buy nonsense. The boy was crying, asking, my mother tried to admonish him, appealing to the mind. Did not work. Finally, the boy used the last argument. He said: "Mom, you only buy yourself everything, but nothing to me!" And this was probably the last straw of my mother's patience. Because my mother almost shouted, she said that the son was ungrateful, that he only needed that something to buy and many more, many offensive words were said. The boy cried.

And I watched as my mother laid out her purchases on tape. Only I tried to look not with the eyes of an adult woman, but with the eyes of a five-year-old boy. Alas, he was right. Products, cleaning cloths, face cream, deodorant, socks, toothpaste, soap, women's magazine, saucepan, not to mention a decent mountain of food ... And the boy is not so wrong. All these little things that my mother bought for herself, of course, are necessary for her. But in the boy's eyes, these are pleasant trifles, without which you can do without ...
What to do? Give in and buy a toy for a boy? Or do not buy anything for yourself? I do not think that these are good options. First, we will understand why the boy behaved this way. Judging by the number of goods that my mother laid out on the tape, they spent at least an hour in the store. The boy is tired. And for an hour he experienced negative emotions about the fact that my mother buys everything to himself, and he does not care. He was forced to accompany his mother in silence and frankly missed him. But there is always a way! Let's try to go shopping with the child. We will discuss what we need to buy and why, should we buy it right now, or can we wait? For example, a pan is needed, because the old one is spoiled, without soap in any way - you need to bathe every day and so on. Such pronouncing of purchases helps the child to understand that the purchases that mom makes are done not only for her but for the child too. The child learns to differentiate important and secondary. However, maybe, in this case, my mother will have to be from some purchases. For example, a women's magazine - is it fun for the mother or is it really a basic need? Perhaps, refuse to buy or buy all the family members in the magazine? You decide".