Mothers and fathers are not too pleased to discover that their "particle", which until recently was so helpless and completely dependent on parental will, now states that it will not put on a "girl's" hat and will not drink milk with foam. Therefore, adults often call stubbornness any expression by a child of their desires that run counter to their interests.

Do not forget that the ability to say "no" is a very important life skill. It is useful to the child when classmates are offered to run away from the lesson or try drugs. Therefore, you should not scold your son or daughter for the very fact of disobedience. The main task of parents is to teach the child to defend his opinion constructively. How to distinguish between perseverance and adherence to principles of the desire to do everything on the contrary?

 

0-2 years

Little children, just beginning to learn the world, need to determine the boundaries of their personality. Only when the kid realizes some desires, understands that he is pleased, and that - not very much, he gets an idea of his individual characteristics. In this situation, these or those adult proposals look like imposed decisions.
From the point of view of the parent, the baby behaves illogically, changing opinions and desires at the speed of light. "He does not know what he wants!" - indignant parents, looking at how the child then pulls a plate with food, heard that it's time to sleep, then turns away when he sees the spoon. In fact, this behavior of the baby speaks of his desire to take control of the situation in his tenacious little hands.

• Make a pause if you see that the child has entered the phase of "I do not want, I will not, do not force." Just shut up and wait. It is possible that having received the long-awaited freedom, the child of the CAM will decide to have lunch.
• Try to get a positive answer to any question, even if not related to the subject of the dispute. Psychologists have long noticed that any "yes", said by the opponent, increases the chances of reconciliation.
• Do not get carried away with persuasions and explanations. At this age is much more convincing emotional infection. Intrigue the child with a story about how sad the nose becomes if it cannot breathe fresh air, because its owner refuses to walk. The more believable the "sad nose" is depicted, the more effective your distracting maneuver will be.
• In some situations, the stubbornness of the baby is caused by the desire to probe the limits of what is permissible. The child may be interested in the following burning questions: "What will happen if I get up in the middle of the roadway and flatly refuse to go to the sidewalk" or "What will my mother do if I take a lid from a plastic bottle in my mouth". In such cases, it is better to use the "administrative resource", calmly picking up the child's armpit, to move across the road, or taking from him an inedible "delicacy." Realizing that the forces are unequal, the kid will stop being stubborn.
• Seeing that the child demonstrates stubbornness "out of principle", turn the dispute into a game, bringing it to the point of absurdity. By copying the child's facial expressions and intonations, also respond with a negative to any words to your address, for example: "No, I will not, do not walk, not on the court!". After seeing the child's confusion, continue the negotiation process.

3-4 years

Stubbornness at this age is associated not only with the knowledge of the world but also with the desire to actively change it, putting various experiments. For the sake of testing their hypotheses, the kid is ready to sacrifice parental calmness. That's why, after hearing "not allowed," the child silently and deliberately begins to do exactly what is forbidden. As a true researcher, he seeks to confirm the theory by practice to make sure the adult is right.

• Accompany every ban or request with detailed explanations. Try to ensure that this information does not cover one specific case, but extends to many similar situations. For example, it is dangerous to stand on your toes, being on any unstable subject, and not just on the green chair in the grandmother's room.
• Do not provide the baby with information that can push him to new risky experiments. Let's say, urging the child to stop torturing printer buttons with endless pressing, do not describe what and how it can break. Say that the device needs to rest after work.
• More often refer to your own experience, so that the heir saw in you a colleague in the laboratory and not a mentor. Give him a children's play set for simple physical and chemical experiments. Together carrying out experiments on instructions, you will teach the child to respect the requirements of safety.
• When arguing with a small stubborn, do not abuse such phrases as "I told anyone!" Or "I told you!". Otherwise, you will provoke the child to find new evidence of his rightness, then to declare victoriously: "Well, look! And you said! "
• If you can not stop the research fervor of the heir, take a scientific guide to his experiment. For example, having noticed that the kid at any opportunity grabs the screwdriver to unscrew the nut on the bicycle, help him to carry out the conceived. Having given the child the opportunity to make sure that the wheel can fall off, you will save the remaining details from the dismantling.