1. Jokes help!
Relax! If you regularly joke with your child, it will help him tune in to social success. When parents joke and play with the child, they give him the tools for creative thinking, for finding new friends and for coping with stress. So do not hesitate to portray the court jester, your children will be grateful to you in the future.
2. Be Positive
There is nothing surprising: parents who in relation to children show negative emotions and treat them rudely, one day will find that their child is very aggressive. This is bad news because behavioral aggression at the age of 5 is directly related to aggression in adulthood even in relation to romantic partners. Therefore, if you are in a cycle an evil parent - an evil child - the parent is even more angry, as soon as possible break the vicious link, this will greatly facilitate the life of you and the adult life of your child.
3. Encourage objective self-esteem
Studies show that "self-compassion" is a very important life skill that helps people to stand in the face of challenges. This feeling includes mindfulness, the ability to control thoughts and emotions, not succumbing to them, but without suppressing them, this is humanity, sympathy for the suffering of other people, as well as the recognition of their problems and the direction to solve them. Parents themselves must have such qualities to cope with difficulties in the upbringing of children and be an example to a child.
4. Release the children
When children want to fly away from a family nest, research shows that it is better to let them go. First-year students, whose parents had difficulty releasing them, are more restless and less open to new experiences compared to those whom parents easily released. This does not mean that after reaching the age of 18, you must get rid of it, but this does not mean that you will appoint a meeting with the teacher of your child to challenge his assessments.
5. Constantly "nourish" your marriage
Do not let your relationship get out of the way after the birth of your child. According to a study conducted in May 2011, parents who suffer from instability in relationships, thus causing sleep problems in their children. The study showed that problems in marriage contribute to the development of mental abilities of young children. If the problems started, when the child was not yet 9 months old, after reaching the age of 18 months, the baby will develop serious problems with sleep. Probably, problem families are always in a state of stress that interferes with normal sleep.
6. Take care of your mental health
If you suspect that you are beginning to fall into depression, then you should seek help, thereby you will help not only yourself but also do not harm the child. Studies show that depressed mothers cannot cope with the upbringing of their children, and their crying irritates such mothers much more. Depressive mothers also advocate a negative style of parenting, thus they introduce their children into a state of stress, so children, according to research grown by such a parent, become too vulnerable and vulnerable. The results seem gloomy, but experts say that they are full of hope, since it is possible to raise a child well even when the father and mother are trying to improve their mental health.
7. Mom, be kind to your sons
According to the 2010 survey, a close relationship with the mother keeps the boys from antisocial behavior. Warm, friendly relations with my mother played a crucial role in the behavior of children, especially boys. The findings, published in the journal Child Development, emphasize the need for attachment between children and parents, that is, the style of relationships should be such that the child knows that he can come to his mother and father for a "reliable basis", before, than to get into the adult world.
Another study showed that a close relationship with the mother contributes to a better development of romantic relationships in the older age. "The relationship between parents and children is extremely important because it is looking at them, the child builds their relationships, parents are a model," says lead researcher Constance Gager. "Therefore, if the child does not feel the warmth between the parents and in relation to himself, he will probably be likewise building a similar relationship in the future."
8. Do not exert pressure on the child.
Teens often do not want to communicate with their parents, this may be due to pushing away peer pressure outside the home. In other words, the autonomy of the house promotes autonomy among friends.
However, do not worry: experts do not believe that children should have an adversarial relationship with their parents. In fact, a strong bond between a teenager and a parent is also associated with less peer pressure. Teens should be able to stand up for themselves, but they also need support from their parents.
9. Do not strive for perfection
No one is perfect, so do not torture yourself, putting too high a bar on achieving specific success in education. According to the 2011 survey, parents who believe that society expects them to succeed in the upbringing of children feel tenser, and they lose confidence in their parenting skills. And not surprising! Try not to pay attention to pressure from outside, and you are certainly quietly realized as a parent.
10. Understand your children
Everyone thinks that they know the best methods for raising a child. But it turns out that education - this thing is not universal. In fact, those children whose parents have adapted their parenting style to children are much less likely to feel anxious and depressed compared to those raised by aggressive and harsh parents. It turns out that some children, especially those who are experiencing difficulties in regulating emotions, need additional help from mom and dad. However, parents do not always feel this, so the child in such situations receives less than what he needs. It is important to catch the signals coming from the child and help him in development.